Something very strange is happening in East Phoenix. If I were a religious person or someone one who believes in fate, I'd think that an entity greater than you or I was trying to tell me something.
In 2003, I joined a gym called Basic Training. It was located on 36th Street and Indian School, and it met my requirements: decent equipment, flexible terms, cheap, not crowded, owned by a musclehead who flexed his biceps when holding paper. It did have an odd mural painted on the wall showing a depression-era kid (as evidenced by his shoes) being comforted by an old-timey coach type with a whistle around his neck. Aside from that weirdness, which made me a little uncomfortable whenever I looked at it, the place was a good fit and more than adequate for my needs. I don't think business was booming, unfortunately, and it closed within a year. Two more businesses came and went, some sort of kickboxing gym and a lame cantina with the most idiotic wait staff in the 85018 zip code. Zipps Sports Grill now occupies the spot and seems to be doing well. We've been there several times and invariably ended up getting trashed (I blame the Zipparitas, which are on special Friday night after 8). The food is mediocre, and Zipps isn't really good value unless you go during happy hour. At that point, it's a bargain.
After Basic Training closed, I had to find another gym. I decided on Fitness West, a venerable old place on Bethany Home and 16th Street. It was bigger than Basic Training and smelled like sweat, vinyl, and Pine Sol. It also had more cardio machines and a charming oddball who worked at the front desk. He kept calling me Karen, saying that I looked like a Karen. What do you say when someone says something like that? All I could think of was, "Well, I'm sorry my name's not Karen." He also said that I reminded him of his Aunt Karen. That the guy was about my age (32 at the time) made this comment kinda depressing. But he assured me that she was "totally awesome, and totally nice."
So, I was a Fitness West member for a good six months or so. I returned from a couple of months in the UK to discover that Fitness West closed because of a dispute with the landlord—it had been in the same location for more than 20 years—and sold its memberships to LA Fitness. I'm still disappointed.
Now, hold on to your hats: After sitting vacant for 5 years, what goes into Fitness West's old space? Another Zipps!
One might reach this conclusion: An otherworldly force wants me to stop working out and start watching more sports, eating more chicken wings, and drinking more beer. Usually I'm not prone to thinking this way, but it's hard to ignore the eerie coincidence.
Thoughts?
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